Don’t ever underestimate the power of a smile. Internally, it 
immediately sets good physiology into motion — muscles relax, 
your immune system perks up and you feel a surge of energy. 
 
Externally, others respond to your smile with encouragement and 
enthusiasm. As comedian Victor Borge once put it, “A smile is the 
shortest distance between two people.” 
 
All of this takes place even if you don’t feel like smiling. So 
force a smile on your face and keep it there. Just the muscular 
configuration will cause some changes in your favor. As they say in 
twelve-step recovery, it makes sense to “fake it until you make it.” 
 
Or to paraphrase comedian George Burns, when it comes to smiling, 
“Always be sincere, even if you have to fake it.” 12
 
 
Try it right now. Oh, go ahead. Nobody’s watching. Force a 
big smile on your face and hold it. Can you feel that subtle surge of 
energy and confidence inside? It never fails to materialize if you 
hold the smile long enough. 
 
Here is an exercise that will help you follow this 
commandment. If you are willing to practice this protocol at least 
once a day, I guarantee you will find it easier to smile more often. 
 
That’s because when you gently stretch your smile muscles, they 
become stronger and more available. Hence smiling takes less effort. 
 
(CAUTION: THIS EXERCISE INVOLVES MILD EXERTION OF 
CERTAIN MUSCLE GROUPS. BE SURE TO CHECK WITH YOUR 
PHYSICIAN BEFORE ATTEMPTING THESE MANEUVERS.) 

Exercise #1: 
 
(1) Raise your eyebrows as high as you can on your forehead. 
Try to touch your hairline with each eyebrow. Hold for a count of 
10, then release. 
 
(2) Close both eyes as tightly as you can without hurting 
yourself. You want to get your cheeks involved with this maneuver. 
Hold for a count of 10, then release. 
 
(3) Try to touch your earlobes with the corners of your 
mouth. This should produce the biggest, broadest grin you can 
muster. Count to 10, then release. 
 
(4) Now try to touch the corners of your mouth underneath 
your chin, producing a huge frown. Hold for 10, then release. 
 
(5) Gently bring your chin down towards your chest, then 
look up at the ceiling, then slowly bring your chin back down to 
your chest. Look up and down in this fashion for six repetitions. 
 
(6) Carefully touch your right ear to your right shoulder, 
then your left ear to your left shoulder, and gently stretch your neck 
from side to side six times. Try to bring your ears down to your 
shoulders, rather than raising your shoulders to meet your ears. 
 
(7) Roll your shoulders in vertical circles, stretching your 13
chest and the muscles between your shoulder blades, for a count of
ten. This should feel like a mini-massage. 

This commandment challenges you to live truthfully 
according to your personal priorities and values. What is the purpose 
of your life? Why are you here? Does your daily behavior reflect 
your highest priorities? Or are you trying to be something or someone 
you are not? 
 
Admittedly these are tough questions, but if you are going 
to rely on the Fun Factor to achieve maximum success, you’ve got 
to be clear on what’s “negotiable” and what’s not. Your humor nature 
will not fabricate on your behalf. Humor always tells the truth, 
which is why it’s so unwelcome in some segments of society. 
 
So if you are trying to be someone you are not, your humor 
nature will trip you up. It knows and respects you too well to 
misrepresent you. 
 
Your humor nature is exactly who you are. It is the part of 
you that you did not create. It is the part of you that you will never 
improve upon, because there is no need for improvement. You are 
wonderful just as you are. Why settle for less than your unique 
perfection? 
 
Be true to yourself. Trust yourself. Get in the habit of asking 
“Am I being honest with myself?” If you are not sure of the answer, 
this exercise will help: 
 
Exercise #2: 
 
Sit quietly in a comfortable chair. 
 
Take several deep, relaxing breaths. Try to release all of the 
tension that will leave you as you let go of each breath. Dismiss all 
the usual thoughts from your mind and set aside, momentarily, any 
problems you’ve been wrestling with. About a dozen relaxing breaths 
should suffice. 
 
 14
 
 
After getting as calm as possible, turn your mind inward 
and look deeply into yourself. Search every nook and cranny of 
your inner awareness, looking carefully for any attitudes, ideas, 
thoughts, or feelings that might be holding tension in you. These 
ideas and feelings usually come under headings like anger, fear, 
resentment, judgment, frustration and impatience. 
 
If you identify such thoughts or feelings within you, be 
willing to set them outside yourself for the next minute or two. Let 
go of any anger, even if it’s justified. The same for any fear or 
resentment you may find. Let it all go for a moment. 
 
Then, concentrate on love, peace, joy, compassion, patience 
and hope. Dwell on these thoughts and feelings for a moment. If, 
during this moment, doubt or self criticism creep into your 
awareness, gently set them outsside yourself with the other stress 
inducing thoughts. Give yourself a minute or two of pure 
concentration on the many positive aspects of your joyful nature. 
 
Complete the exercise by taking one final deep breath in and, as 
you slowly release the breath, gently open your eyes. Stretch both 
arms over your head, and then bring them down before getting up 
from the chair.

This commandment is not about losing self-respect or 
demeaning ourselves. Just the opposite — it is an act of loving 
kindness. Willingness to laugh at ourselves frees us from the 
restrictions of the unrealistic and unremittingly harsh expectations 
to which we hold ourselves when we are under duress. It gives us 
latitude to appreciate the ever-present inconsistencies and 
contradictions that are part of our makeup. 
 
Laughing at ourselves helps us recognize the difference 
between perfection and perfectionism. 
 
 15
 
 
Perfection is what we are, and that includes all the 
inconsistencies and shortcomings. You are not perfect, but you are 
perfection because of, not in spite of, your contradictions. 
 
Perfection is healthy. It includes imperfection. 
 
Perfectionism, on the other hand, is what we think we should 
be. It is always unhealthy. It is intolerant of imperfection. When we 
are caught up in our perfectionism, we are brittle and inflexible. 
We can be broken down by change. 
 
 
So laughing at ourselves is not a form of humiliation. It is a 
way of taking ourselves lightly, while still taking our responsibilities 
seriously. Once we are able to lighten up, we become more creative 
and resourceful. When the going gets tough, the tough lighten up. 
If you are having trouble laughing at yourself, this exercise is 
recommended: 

Exercise #3: 
 
Sit quietly in a comfortable chair. 
 
Take several deep-relaxing breaths. Try to release all of the 
tension that will leave you as you let go of each breath. Dismiss all 
of the usual thoughts from your mind and set aside, momentarily, 
any problems you have been wrestling with. 
 
After approximately a dozen relaxing breaths, let your 
attention focus upon a trait or characteristic of yours that you do 
not like. It can be physical, mental, or social. It doesn’t matter. Just 
make sure it’s something you don’t like about yourself. 
 
While keeping the “unwanted” trait firmly in mind, try to 
think of a way this characteristic could be amusing. Be playful and 
gentle. Do not be unkind or mean spirited. Simply do what you can 
to see this trait in a more amusing or ridiculous light. 
 
After a moment, discontinue this thought pattern and simply 
take a few more deep relaxing breaths. End the exercise by taking 
one final deep breath, slowly exhaling as you open your eyes and 
stretch your arms over your head, and then bring them back down. 

Far from a license for mediocrity, this commandment is a 
formula for success. If we are to rise above our fear and pain we 
must have the energy for it. Trying to deny our mistakes and keep 
them hidden from others is a waste of that precious energy. 
 
As we’ve already observed, we are perfectly imperfect. 
 
Mistakes are inevitable, but they can be real assets if we are willing 
to learn from them. Acknowledging them freely is the first step in 
turning our perils into pearls. 
 
What can we learn from mistakes if we’re willing to 
acknowledge them? Of course the most obvious payoff is that they 
teach us what doesn’t work. Being wrong will often alert us to another 
perspective or point of view. Mistakes also force us to develop new 
behaviors and coping styles—expanding our repertoire. Tonight 
Show host Johnny Carson was a master at deliberately “making 
mistakes” in his nightly monologue as a way of exercising his adlibbing 
skills. 
 
Learning what doesn’t work, seeing additional perspectives, 
or developing new coping skills are all priceless assets when we are 
going through inevitable changes in our lives. And when it comes 
to expanding repertoires and gaining new perspectives, we have no 
greater resource than humor. 
 
To practice “welcoming” your mistakes, try this exercise: 
 
Exercise #4: 
 
Be like Johnny Carson. Make mistakes on purpose. 
 
Ask dumb questions. Wear mismatched socks. Push the 
elevator button after it’s already lit. 
 
I call this deliberate foolishness. Acting in this way provides 
many benefits:

1. You will get used to feeling foolish. It’s an exhilarating feeling. 
 
2. You will enjoy knowing that others will misjudge you and feel a 
false sense of superiority over you. 
 
3. Being foolish is a good stress reliever. 

The most difficult thing to do when we are faced with 
stressful challenges is to listen very carefully. Yet it is a fact that our 
listening skill is our greatest asset for success. 
 
Most people find listening difficult because they think of it 
as a passive state. Careful listening may be a quiet activity, but it is 
certainly not passive. It requires the activation of every sense— our 
ears, of course, but also our eyes, our touch and especially our hearts. 
 
The goal is to first understand, before seeking to be 
understood. 
 
If we are willing to listen fully to what we are hearing, we 
will discover information that will make us more successful. Quite 
often others will give us clues to the response that will be most 
effective. 
 
 
Not only that, but when we listen intently, we will become 
aware of the humor in a situation that might otherwise be overlooked. 
 
This plays right into our commitment to have as much fun as possible 
at all times. 
 
The following exercise, performed daily, will increase the 
sensitivity of all your observational senses:

Exercise #5: 
 
Read the newspaper twice. 
 
The first time read the news, comics and whatever else 
interests you. Then go back through looking for “funny” headlines 
and captions. 
 
Practice focusing just on the choice and positioning of words, 
and nothing more. Suddenly amusing variations will become 
apparent. You can have fun with these variations, which will be 
missed by the majority of those who read them. 
 
To give you an idea of what awaits you, here are a few 
examples of headlines that I have found in my local newspaper: 
 
“JUDGE TOLD TO RULE ON LIFE SUPPORT CASE 
OF MAN ALREADY DEAD” 
 
“KENTUCKY COUPLE CONVICTED OF FRAUD 
FAILS TO APPEAR AT PRISON” 
 
“SUING EMPLOYER CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO 
YOUR CAREER” 
 
“INDIANA PARK FEES MAY RISE—OR FALL” 
 
“TOWN OVERWHELMED BY POLLUTION HOPES 
TO BECOME NATIONAL PARK” 
 
“THIRD TEEN IS CHARGED IN PIZZA STABBING” 
 
“UNWANTED VASECTOMY COULD WRECK 
MARRIAGE”

In life, as in juggling, success depends less on what we catch 
than on how quickly we can let go. Failure to let go of what we have 
already lost increases our suffering and ineffectiveness during life’s 19
inevitable transitions. 
 
Now, suppose you are an innocent recipient of misfortune 
or abuse. You did nothing to deserve the loss. You have a right to be 
resentful and angry. If you accept it gracefully, you may feel like 
you are endorsing an injustice or letting somebody or something 
off too easily. 
 
Nonetheless, it’s still advisable to let go and “forgive” as 
quickly as you can. Do this for one reason only — it’s good for you. 
Harboring resentment, no matter how justified it may be, imprisons 
the resenter, while making no impact on the situation. It drains 
energy and limits options. Letting go is something we do for the 
benefit of no one but ourselves. 
 
But it is not easy. The more important the loss, the harder it 
is to release our grip. This is where the issue of priorities, raised 
earlier, becomes important. We must not allow difficulty in letting 
go of the more important issues to stand in the way of our releasing 
what we can. Every little bit helps free us to be more resourceful 
and effective in our responses. 
 
Humor nature provides an effective and practically effortless 
way of letting go — laughter. We cannot laugh without letting go. 
Believe me, I’ve tried and it gave me a hernia. 
 
If you are able to let go, it may be only for today. Tomorrow 
may require a renewed effort, since resentments have a way of 
building back up, with or without justification. 
 
Perhaps you will find this exercise helpful: 

Exercise #6: 
 
Begin by letting the little things go. There may be things in 
your life that you can’t forgive right now. That’s certainly 
understandable, but it doesn’t have to stop you. 
 
To practice this exercise, all we really need is the willingness 
to release the things that we can. Each little bit helps. Every time we 
let go of a small resentment we increase the likelihood of eventually 
being free of our bigger ones. 
 
Start with the easy ones and work your way up

This a crucial “commandment,” because most of the fear 
we experience in life relates to assumptions we make based on past 
experience or the counsel of others (usually some form of hearsay). 
 
We are tireless assumers. Drop us into any situation and the first 
thing we’ll do, whether or not we know the facts, is begin to make 
assumptions. We are not deterred by ignorance of the facts. 
 
Whenever we don’t know, we simply make more assumptions, more 
quickly. 
 
Most of our assumptions go unchecked. Soon we begin to 
treat them as fact and assign them the power of truth. 
 
There’s only one problem with all of this. Most of our 
assumptions are wrong! Our batting average is so poor it’s a miracle 
our species has made it this far. 
 
In order to survive life’s challenges successfully, we need the 
capacity to challenge our assumptions frequently enough to stop us 
from veering too far off course. Humor nature is our best resource 
for this. Challenging prevailing assumptions is the chief mechanism 
of all humor. 
 
Challenge the assumption that you are sufficiently diligent 
in riding herd on your assumptions by practicing this exercise: 

Exercise #7: 
 
Playing the “What if?” game is a good habit to develop. 
 
What and if are the two words that usually begin any assault on 
your assumptions. “What if ..” is a wake up call to your humor 
nature. Even when you are certain of your facts, “What if ..” is still 
a good habit, because it will stimulate your creativity (eg. What if 
two plus two did not equal four?) 
 
 21
 
Practice playing “What if ...” with common every day 
objects. Look around the room right now and try it with anything 
you see. What if this pen wasn’t a pen? What else could it be? A 
microphone ... a miniature space craft ... a jumbo lipstick tube? 
 
 
What if that wasn’t my hat? Would it be a frisbee made of cloth ... a 
lunch box ... a potholder? 
 
Please don’t try to be funny in this exercise. There’s no need 
for it. Simply let your imagination run free. 

This sounds like an assignment for a contortionist. Focused 
and flexible? Aren’t they opposites? 
 
Let me put it this way. We all know the shortest distance 
between two points is… usually under construction. That’s right. 
The theoretical straight line does not exist in real life. 
 
We are challenged to keep our goals and priorities clearly in 
focus, while remaining flexible enough to accommodate the 
inevitable surprises. At times life resembles a game of “Twister.” 
That’s why humor is so valuable. 
 
Balance is the issue. If focus overrides flexibility, we become 
stubborn, rigid and bull-headed. If flexibility eclipses focus, we are 
left aimless and vulnerable. Humor helps us avoid these extremes. 
 
When it comes to flexibility, your humor nature offers a 
win/win situation. Flexibility stimulates your sense of humor and 
humor will keep you more flexible. 
 
If you are having trouble with this seemingly oxymoronic 
“commandment,” here’s an exercise that might help: 

Exercise #8: 
 
Keep humor props with you at all times. Props are very 
helpful in keeping focus and perspective. 
 
For example, one prop I find indispensable in rush hour 
traffic is my red clown nose. When caught in a “logjam”, I put on 
the nose and wave to people in the other cars. 
 
Incidentally, if you should ever want to try this, I will warn 
you right now that half the people who see you do this won’t like it. 
 
They’ll look away quickly, so as not to encourage you at all. But the 
other 50 percent love it. They laugh, wave, and tell me I’m #1 - at 
least I think that’s what that finger means. 
 
The point is that, regardless of the effect it has on others, 
the prop helps me stay focused on the big picture, which keeps the 
small frustrations in perspective

The best ideas are merely intellectual curiosities until put 
into action. Success is measured by action. Life is not a spectator 
sport. 
 
We must have a plan of action. Even if it calls for us to do 
nothing for now, planned passivity is better than immobilization by 
despair. Yes, there is risk involved in taking action. In fact, there is 
a certain degree of risk in every breath we take. But if we are willing 
to be bold in putting our humor nature into action, we will find 
that the risks have been vastly overrated. Others are surprisingly 
receptive and supportive, once we take the initiative. 
 
Which brings us to the second aspect of this 
“commandment” — interacting. Nobody achieves success without 
help from others. Even the Lone Ranger, the quintessential symbol 
for going it alone, had Tonto at his side. 
 23
 
 
Have you noticed that your sense of humor becomes stronger 
the moment it connects with another person? Amusing yourself is 
better than nothing. Sharing your humor with others is the best. 
 
You will find that if you make the effort to reach out with humor, 
others will be eager to meet you more than half way. 
 
Here’s an exercise to help with this challenge: 

Exercise #9: 
 
Reach out. Engage other people at every opportunity. 
A childlike, playful spirit is the best approach. Despite the impersonal 
tendencies of modern technology, there are many everyday situations 
in which we find ourselves in close proximity to other people. Do 
we interact? Usually not. 
 
A prime example is a ride in an elevator. Here we have a 
small room, many people, and no windows. So what do we do with 
this golden opportunity to interact? We stare silently at the numbers 
over the door. 
 
Don’t ever let this happen to you again. Say something - 
anything. Break the silence. 
 
My favorite ploy is to announce, “If I’d known so many 
were coming to this meeting, I’d have reserved a bigger room.” Then 
I’ll ask for somebody to give the treasurer’s report. Someone usually 
“volunteers”, and has some fun with it. I’ll ask departing passengers 
how they want to vote on the upcoming merger issue. Newcomers 
are greeted with, “You missed the first part of the meeting, but 
don’t feel left out. We elected you president.” By the time we’ve 
gone a few floors, everybody’s smiling and having fun. It’s silly. But 
it’s better than staring at the numbers. 
 
There are many similar situations. It’s ludicrous to be thrown 
into face-to-face contact and have nothing to say to each other. 
 
Don’t let it happen. Reach out. You never know whom you might 
meet. 

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the optimistic little boy 
who, when confronted with a room full of horse manure, dove 
right in, exclaiming, “With all this manure, there’s got to be a pony 
in here somewhere!” Although I don’t think I want to hug him 
right now, I think the little fellow’s got it right. 
 
No matter how big a pile of “manure” life dumps in your 
path, looking for the pony is the best response. Even if there is no 
pony, digging in with enthusiasm is better for us than being burdened 
with reluctance and resentment. Between you and me, there usually 
is a pony, but we miss it because we’re not looking for it. 
 
When you opened your eyes this morning, you were already 
breathing. If not, I don’t think you should be reading this. 
 
If you went on to check the obituaries and didn’t find your 
name, you’re apparently alive. That’s a miracle. Celebrate it. 
 
Celebration is made up of two elements — gratitude and 
joy. Remember, joy is the most natural state for us humor beings. If 
you want more joy in your life, begin each moment with gratitude. 
 
Gratitude is the essence of celebration. It doesn’t have to be noisy or 
raucous. A quiet “thank you” to a special person in your life can be 
an effective form of celebration. 
 
If you have not been celebrating everything, try this exercise: 
 
Exercise #10: 
 
Get in the habit of listening for the sounds of laughter 
constantly going on all around you. I call these sounds the Symphony 
of Laughter. 
 
Whenever you are out in a public place, such as the mall, an 
airport, or a theater lobby, you can hear laughter, because that’s the 
way we communicate when we have no imposed agenda. Whether 
it’s a giggle right beside you or a guffaw from across the room, the 
sound will lift your spirits and bring a smile to your face. 

Soon one more laugh will be heard—yours. 
 
There you have my Ten Commandments of Fun, each a 
practical strategy for bringing forth your humor nature in all its 
strength and glory. Notice that all of them are focused on you, rather 
than the things going on around you. That’s because, if you’re aiming 
to focus on fun, you must look to yourself first. As selfish as that 
may sound, it’s simply the way it is. 
 
The roots of fun do not lie in the circumstances or things 
that surround you. They are deeply embedded within your being. 
 
If you catch yourself thinking thoughts like, “I could have more 
fun, if I had more money” or “My job would be more fun if the 
boss would get off my back,” you’re focusing in the wrong direction. 
 
Fun starts inside you and works its way out. It doesn’t happen 
the other way. 
 
The best way to remember how fun works is to “take” my 
Ha Ha Ha Prescription. Whereas most doctors say, “Open wide 
and say AH,” I say, “Open wide and say HA HA HA.” 
 
The first HA is Humor Attitude. This is where fun begins. 
 
Attitude is a 100 percent inside job. Our attitude may be the only 
thing in life over which we have total control. If we cultivate an 
attitude of willingness to be light and playful, to appreciate all the 
absurdities swirling around us all the time and to laugh whenever 
we can, we have done our part. 
 
The next step happens automatically, without any effort 
 
from us. Our Humor Attitude creates a Humor Atmosphere around 
us. That is the second HA. It just “oozes” from us. Others may not 
know what to call it, but they know it’s there. They can feel it. They 
are drawn into it. It’s irresistible. They want to be near us and hear 
what we have to say. They are eager to share their positive thoughts 
with us. They want to “play” with us. 
 
Once this is accomplished, what follows is a no-brainer. 
 
The very next thing we do will be fun. That’s the last HA—a Humor 
Action. Humor Action does not require anyone to be witty or funny.

There is no pressure to perform or to make anything happen. It is
merely a trustworthy natural outcome. 
 
Because we have the tendency to mistakenly think that 
success produces fun instead of the other way around, we often find 
ourselves trying to apply the HA HA HA Prescription backwards. 
 
We attempt to say or do something funny (Humor Action) hoping 
that our “performance” will stimulate laughter (Humor Atmosphere) 
and thus lighten the mood of everyone present (Humor Attitude). 
 
It doesn’t work that way. Even when it seems to, it’s only a 
transient phenomenon, hardly a dependable basis for lasting success. 
 
Sustained excellence comes only from having fun first, and that 
begins, not ends, with attitude. 
 
With the HA HA HA Prescription and the Ten 
Commandments of Fun under our belts, we are now ready to 
consider how to build the Fun Factor back into our lives. Let’s begin 
by looking at the most basic social structure we encounter in life— 
our family. 

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