Distinguish between what you do and who you are

- Start every day by writing down 3-5 good things that you will achieve in the course of the day.

- In the evening, write down what you did especially well that day.

Record your strengths and weaknesses.

To increase your confidence and self-esteem you need to have something to look forward to and know that you have what it takes to get there. Think about the good qualities other people say you have. Could they be right and you wrong? If you start believing that you are going in the right direction. Trust your intuition. Associate with positive people and act enthusiastically. You will then train your brain to be more enthusiastic.  You must also realize that you are not the only one who makes mistakes and has flaws.

To increase your self-confidence you also have to give yourself permission to be exactly as you are right now. Find peace with who you are. Make a list of 10-20 things that you have achieved in your life. Be proud of all you have accomplished so far. You can also list your qualities and strengths to help create more self-confidence. Remember that your potential is almost unlimited and that you can more or less be the person you want to be.

Once you know what your main passions are you can start living them. You use them as a filter in your life, meaning that whenever you’re faced with a choice, a decision or an opportunity, you choose in favor of your passions.

When you have a purpose in your life, when your life and what you do feel meaningful to you, then your zest for life and wish to live increase and you will experience more joy of life. But to find purpose and meaningfulness you have to be open to change.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

• The first step is to be aware of a need or wish to change.
• The next step is to decide what to change to, which can be difficult. It can also happen that you have conflicting ideas about where or what you want to be after the change. You should create a picture of the outcome.

Have role models.

We get in our own way and sabotage ourselves because of limiting beliefs and habits that are not good for us, something we all do at times. You can also write down some of your beliefs and start questioning them. Your attitude towards yourself is associated with your limiting beliefs. When you believe that other people think positively about you, you will act differently to how you would behave if you believe they have a negative opinion of you. Seeing an opportunity in the difficulties you are faced with and having a positive and optimistic outlook on life will enable you to be happier and stop complaining.

Be optimistic.

Think about your vocabulary and how much it matters. The words we use have an influence on how we think, so watch what you say.

The experience of embracing fear increases our strength and confidence. Try to identify what distractions are problematic, for example a need to check your e-mail or mobile phone for messages. Breaking down bigger tasks into smaller ones can enable you to place greater focus on every task. Giving yourself small rewards when you accomplish things may also help you to avoid procrastinating. Calling the fear something can decrease it. Maybe what you fear is something new and unknown and therefore you are afraid.

Courage enables you to face doubt and the criticism of other people. You can “train” your courage. The more often you are courageous and look fear in the face, the more courageous you will become. First of all you may have to give yourself permission to be courageous and look upon yourself as a courageous person. Plan to reward yourself.

You should not spend much time with people who make you worry.

Create a worry period.

Ask yourself if the problem is solvable or unsolvable.

Challenge anxious thoughts.

Think about the values you wish to live your life by. Believe in yourself based on the thinking you've done about the values you're going to live your life by. Dream about the things that can be, based on your belief in yourself and the values you're going to live by.Dare to make your dreams become reality, based on your belief in yourself and your values.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

1. Keep a Gratitude Journal. Establish a daily practice in which you remind yourself of the gifts, grace, benefits and good things to enjoy.

2. Remember the Bad. By remembering how difficult life was and how far you have come, you highlight the contrast in your mind, which facilitates gratefulness.

3. Use Visual Reminders. You might need visual reminders to trigger thoughts of gratitude. The best visual reminders are other people.

4. Watch your Language. Grateful people use words like gifts, giver, blessings, blessed, fortunate and abundance.

5. Go Through the Motions. Grateful motions include smiling, saying thank you and writing letters to express one’s gratitude.

6. Think Outside the Box. Look for new situations and circumstances in which to feel grateful.

- Observe your thoughts.

- Say the two words “Thank you” as often as you can

. - Tell people you are grateful when you are, as it will increase both your own and their joy of life. Count your blessings

- Start thinking of people who have expressed their gratitude to you and remember people who have been happy because you were in their lives.

- Think of what you have and you will feel joy instead of regretting what you don’t have, which will make you feel sad.

An Exercise

1. Close your eyes. Sit somewhere when you have time on your own.

2. Take a deep breath.

3. Say or visualize the word gratitude in your mind.

4. Focus on your body.

5. Breathe a little deeper and relax.

6. Mentally review things, occurrences and people you have experienced in the last 24 hours, as well as during the last week or two. Ask yourself for what or whom you feel gratitude. Vulnerability is one reason why feeling gratitude can be frightening and thus avoided. Envy, jealousy and bitterness are other reasons.

7. When you discover something that gives you a sense of gratitude, observe what it is like.

8. Take a deep breath and open your eyes. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Tip 1: Focus on the short rather than the long term.

Tip 2: Instead of worrying, prepare.

Tip 3: Acceptance is an antidote to worry.

There are many situations in life when you are confronted by a need to leave behind and move on. Gratitude and forgiveness may also help us to have fewer regrets and move forward.

Here is an exercise that may help you: Write a letter to your younger self when you were 25 or 40 years old about your present life. This letter may help you to see how far you have progressed, to let go of the past and stop you from focusing on your regrets. You will realize that you have overcome many difficulties in your life and progressed this far!

Being curious and wanting to learn more is important if you wish to have more joy in your life irrespective of your age. Hope is about positive expectations and believing in the future. Being hopeful means that you want to do or achieve something that you believe might be possible, even when the situation is uncertain. Hopefulness means saying to yourself that you won’t give up, that you will keep on trying.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Laughter makes you feel good and the feeling remains after you have stopped laughing. It also helps you to maintain a positive attitude when you encounter difficult situations, losses or disappointments.

A smile is difficult to give away because people tend to give it back. Smiling is a way of taking control of your emotions. You cannot feel unhappy when you choose to smile and it is difficult to frown when looking at someone who is smiling.

Humor can be dangerous to your illness!

Ask yourself the following questions:

- When did I last laugh? What did I laugh at?

- What kind of humor do I like?

- What kind of humor do I not like?

- Do I surround myself with people who have a sense of humor?

- How can I help myself to laugh and smile more?

- Have plenty of them in your life.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

• Don’t blame others.
• Observe and accept your own feelings, don’t judge them. Do the same with others.
• Stop feeling sorry for people.
• Don’t criticize others.
• Let go of being right.
• let go and allow the people around you to be just as they are you would feel much better and so would they.
• Stop trying to be someone you are not.
• Respect others and listen to them.
• Give up labeling or rejecting people or things just because you don’t understand or know anything about them.
• stop trying to read others’ minds and instead ask them their opinion.
• Observe and listen to your own thoughts and self-talk. Don’t believe everything that your mind tells you. Don’t allow it to stop you!
• Don’t allow others’ truth to become your truth.
• Start believing in yourself and take advantage of how you can create a better life for yourself and those around you.
• Beware of negativity around you. Surround yourself with positive people.
• Allow yourself to find some people stupid or annoying.
• Don’t copy others. Bee inspired by your role models.
• Have good friends
• Respect yourself
• Connect with others and help them.
• Be generous.
• Be your own best friend.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

To admit that you made a mistake, feel remorse and perhaps shame requires acting with humility and serenity. You want the aggrieved person to trust you again but trust cannot be built without demonstrating that you are sincere. If you have lied, you have to stop immediately, admit it and show that you are still worthy of trust. If the consequences of your offence and lies are severe, you may have a chance to learn from them and become a person who does not lie.

Like you forgive others, you also need to forgive yourself.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.