Research shows it takes anywhere from 18 days to 254 days to form a new habit. On average, it takes 66 days to form a habit. Once you make a certain behavior automatic, you won’t have to rely on your self-discipline to keep doing it. When presented with a specific cue, you will automatically react to it just like you trained yourself to do. It’s the simplest way to introduce more discipline in your life.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

 Keystone habits give the best bang for the buck. If you haven’t done so already, introduce a habit to exercise on a regular basis. Unsurprisingly, one of the most powerful habits that lead to changing other patterns is regular physical activity.

Studies show that regular physical activity may lead to reduced

• overeating,
• smoking,
• alcohol consumption,
• and risk taking.

Consequently, just one change in your daily routine can help you introduce numerous other healthy changes with little to no resistance. Positive things just “happen” and transform your life.

Both exercising and food journaling are two keystone habits that can transform your life. But what if you already have a healthy diet and exercise regularly? Keystone habits don’t stop at just these two behaviors.

 Here are some potential keystone habits you can develop in your life and expect a positive chain reaction.

1. Meditation. (Explained later in a seperate activity)
2. Waking up earlier. Even waking 15 minutes earlier can bring a huge change in your life by letting you start your day with less stress and in no hurry. Reduced tension in the morning can help you improve your relationships with other people and become more effective at work.
3. Trying a new thing every single day. Stepping outside your comfort zone and doing things you have never done before will help you discover new hobbies, meet new people and face your fears.
4. Saving money. No matter what you think about money and happiness, a couple months of savings can make only positive changes in your life – leading to decreased stress and more financial safety that spills over to other aspects of life.
5. Expressing gratitude for things you’re thankful for. Write down three things that went well on a given day led to steady increases in happiness.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Meditation helps you train your self-discipline by forcing you to focus only on your breath. It also teaches you how to resist distractions and live in the present moment. If you want to begin meditating, start small with 5-minute long sessions. Soon, you’ll be able to keep your focus for longer than just 20 seconds or so.

How do you exactly meditate? While you can read a book or two about different types of meditation, it’s not necessary for self-discipline purposes. The key in meditation is to focus on the present moment and sensations traveling through your body while you sit still.

Here’s a simple step-by-step explanation of how to do it.

1. Sit still in a comfortable position. Don’t stand up, don’t lie down – sit with an upright posture. Forget about the cross-legged lotus position you know from movies unless you’re super flexible. The three most common positions for beginners are: - sitting at the edge of the chair with your back straight. Yes, it can be as simple as that. No need for exotic positions. - sitting cross-legged. It’s easy and common among beginners, but I find it too straining for my back. Hence I prefer the third option… - seiza position. Fold your legs underneath your thighs and rest your buttocks on your heels. For more comfort, you can put a pillow under your rear. You can use a simple app to limit your session to five minutes or set an alarm on your phone (just don’t use an obnoxious, loud alarm that will give you a heart attack).

2. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Simple counting – one (inhale), two (exhale), one (inhale), two (exhale) works best. You can also count each breath until you reach 100. At first, don’t expect to reach more than 20 before you lose your concentration. Once you get better, you can stop counting your breaths and focus on the general feeling in your body.

3. Focus on the sensations in your body as you inhale and exhale. Start from your feet and go upward, trying to relax every little muscle. You’ll be surprised how much tension you store in certain parts of your body – including tension in the places you weren’t aware of before, such as your chin. If you lose your focus, bring it back to your breath and the sensations in your body. You’re not doing anything wrong if you lose your focus – it’s a part of the process.

Repeat the practice every single day. Morning works best for most people, but it doesn’t matter when you do it as long as you keep it a part of your routine. Don’t make your sessions longer until you become comfortable sitting still for five minutes. It’s better to add an additional minute every other week or so, rather than get discouraged when you transition to fifteen minutes and find yourself unable to focus.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Cold showers, although extremely painful during the first minute or two, can help you deal with challenges better. It takes a lot of willpower not to jump out of the shower or turn the knob back to the hot water.Consequently, you’ll be more at control when faced with an overwhelming temptation to give in.

However, it’s a good idea to take cold showers for a week or two as a short-term experiment. It will teach you a lot about your limits. You’ll understand when you cross the line from, “I’m going to freeze,” to, “I can stand it,” to, “It’s not that bad.” Soon, you’ll apply your findings in other areas of life, most notably during strenuous physical exercise.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Fasting, even infrequent, will help you better control your urges. A cold shower takes 5 minutes, while fasting takes at least 14-16 hours to benefit from it.

The temptation to break the fast and eat is always there – up to the moment you get used to the new way of eating. It’s not something that fits everyone, but it won’t hurt to try it as an experiment and see how it affects your willpower.

Studies show that intermittent fasting has beneficial effects on the cardiovascular and cerebrovascular systems and is a potential eating pattern for successful brain aging. It is also a powerful practice to develop your self-discipline.

It’s especially useful for anyone who wants to change her relationship with food and become better at controlling cravings. You don’t need to eat five meals a day to lose fat or stave off hunger. Neither does fasting reduce your cognitive performance, sleep or mood.

You can skip a meal or two, stop eating for a full day or temporarily change your eating pattern (you can always go back to your usual patterns if you find it’s not for you).

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Learning to control small things can help you control bigger things. Treat it like a workout and start from monitoring simple things. Then go on to harder.

For instance, many people have a tendency to slouch (it might be you right now). Make it a challenge to keep your back straight throughout the day. Do you have a habit of swearing when you’re stuck in a traffic jam? Resist the temptation and switch your mind to something more positive.

 Additional self-control will help you manage your anger better. Do you leave your bed unmade when you wake up? Resist the temptation to leave it unmade and spend two minutes making it as perfect as if you expected someone to come over. Do you always want to prove other people wrong? Exert your self-control to put an end to this behavior and keep your tongue behind your teeth.

You can also use various online tools and apps to track the small things in your life – your spending habits, time spent browsing through entertainment sites, time spent watching TV.

Self-monitoring will help you pick new challenges that will help you improve your self-control. Start with one little thing and get better at controlling it. Increase the difficulty by picking a thing that’s a bit harder to control. Keep challenging yourself to gain more control over the little things in your life you usually do mindlessly.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Test your boundaries. The first feeling of fatigue is your body’s reaction under stress, but it doesn’t mean you can’t go on any longer. Push your limits to see how much more self-control you can squeeze out of yourself.

Sir Roger Bannister, who was the first man to run the mile in less than 4 minutes in 1954, said in 2000, “It’s the brain, not the heart or lungs, that is the critical organ, it’s the brain26.” Studies show that the first feeling of fatigue is an emotion, not the signal that your body is spent and can’t go on any longer.

Consequently, you can learn how to exert more self-discipline when you decide to go past the first feeling of fatigue and see how much further you can push yourself. Obviously the easiest area where you can introduce this finding is exercise.

If you go to the gym, don’t be afraid to go past your original limits and see if you can push a little bit more. Make it a priority to do it in a safe way, though – with the proper form and a spotter to help you. I do it from time to time at the gym, and it helps me explore my true limits and discover that frequently it’s only my mind that limits me from achieving more. If you run long distances, push yourself to beat your personal record and finish your usual distance in a shorter period of time or run farther.

Going beyond the first feeling of fatigue will help you move your limits and increase your capabilities to control yourself under overwhelming pressure. After all, if you could push through extreme exhaustion and complete yet one more rep with a heavy bar on your back, you can also resist the temptation to eat a chocolate bar, right?

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Grow closer with your future self. People who prefer to get less now instead of more in the future are more likely to give in to temptations and fail at achieving their long-term goals.

For instance, when you see a chocolate bar on your desk, think about the future reward first (a healthy mind and body) and then compare it to the present reward (a brief burst of energy). Your mind will consider the second choice less attractive than if you switched the order and treated delayed gratification as the loss of the chocolate bar.

Envisioning your future self – whether you motivate yourself by imagining your feared-for or hoped-for future self is another helpful technique to increase your self-control.

Keep in mind this exercise isn’t about visualizing your success – it’s just about bringing your future “you” closer to the current day to encourage you to take care of your future.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

When faced with the possibility of an instant gratification, think about the reward from your long-term goal first. It tricks your mind, making it easier to stay disciplined.

If you find you’re assuring yourself you’ll start as soon as you feel like doing it, revisit your goals. Self-discipline depends on your motivation. With no motivation, there’s little to no self-control – no matter how disciplined you otherwise are.

If you find yourself constantly procrastinating, chances are it’s not the right goal for you. Let’s say your original reason to lose weight was to make others jealous of your new body. If you find yourself constantly postponing the day of introducing new eating habits, perhaps it was the wrong reason. In general, a powerful, encouraging goal is based on an internal motivation. You’ll get much more drive from your internal need to become a better person than from trying to please someone, make someone jealous or enjoy other trivial external benefits of reaching your goal (men working out to attract women, women losing weight to seduce men).

While there’s nothing wrong with making a trivial motivation a part of your “why,” your main reason for changes should come from within you (your own desire to become healthier, stronger, richer, etc.). Research conducted in an academic context of motivation36 suggests that intrinsic personal goals (health, personal growth, affiliation, community contribution) increase both the short-term and long-term persistence of learning than extrinsic personal goals (fame, physical appearance, financial success). Come up with a strong “why” that will keep you going when the first rush of motivation goes away, replaced by the hard reality where success requires stick-to-itiveness..

When faced with the possibility of an instant gratification, think about the reward from your long-term goal first. It tricks your mind, making it easier to stay disciplined.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

False hope syndrome refers to a behavior of setting unrealistic expectations about the speed, amount, ease, and consequences of the changes you’ll make in your life. If you want to wait until you feel like doing something, reconsider your motivation.

Come up with a goal fueled by inner motivation – health, personal growth, affiliation, community contribution, than external motivation – fame, physical appearance, financial success.

The first part of the change – making the decision to make a change and setting an unrealistic goal – gives you a powerful boost of hope that makes you feel good. It’s typical instant gratification – you haven’t achieved anything, but you already feel like you’re on top of the world (or just an inch from reaching it). False hope syndrome makes you come up with unrealistic goals because you’re overexcited about reaching them. The next time you’re setting your goals (and especially if they’re related to something you have little idea about), set your mind on the action steps you need to take to reach your goal.

And although dreaming big is an admirable quality, find out what average people achieve and adjust your goals accordingly. Thanks to this simple change in your attitude, you won’t get discouraged by not reaching your (unrealistic) expectations.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

The more decisions you have to make, the worse the quality of your decisions will be. Spend your decision-making energy wisely. Reduce the number of decisions you take each day to reduce the effect of decision fatigue in your life. Make important decisions after a break or early in the day.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Stress kills your self-control. Make it a priority in your life to keep your stress levels in check. If you need to relax, choose activities that will promote long-term wellbeing rather than techniques that will result in a short burst of relief.

Since physical activity is one of the best ways to reduce the level of stress, it should be the first keystone habit to introduce in your life. If you already exercise on a regular basis, here are a few more ways to reduce your stress:

1. Read a book. Reading a book in silence is a simple way to forget about the world around you and restore your energy.

2. Go for a walk (especially in nature). Studies show44 that exercise in green spaces such as forests and parks promotes well-being and recovery from stress.

3. Meditate. We already discussed how powerful it is.

4. Get a massage. Some people still consider it awkward to get a massage from a stranger, even though it has been proven45 to be a powerful way to alleviate stress.

5. Spend time with friends and family. Enjoying the company of people close to you will help you forget about your troubles. And once you focus on your problems again, they will be easier to solve.

6. Cuddle or have sex. Physical intimacy (even a simple hug) results in the release of oxytocin, and serotonin, two powerful stress-relieving hormones.

7. Listen to music. Music helps relieve stress and improves mood. Studies have also found it has a small pain-relieving effect.

The key to reduce stress effectively is to focus on techniques that provide a longer stress-relieving response, not a quick release of tension.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

People with little self-control tend to overestimate their ability to control their urges. Assume you’re not as good as you think to avoid overexposing yourself to temptations.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Status quo bias is a preference to keep things as they are. Any change from the current state of things is perceived as a loss. As a result, making positive changes in your life can be much harder than you think – simply because you will perceive them as losses, even if the current state of things is no longer optimal for you. There are several biases that interact with the status quo bias, such as loss aversion (tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses to acquiring gains) and endowment effect (tendency to ascribe more value to things merely because you own them).

Avoid the status quo bias by: asking yourself if the status quo serves your goals, asking yourself if you would still choose it if it wasn’t in place, coming up with more choices, and not choosing the status quo because it’s difficult to make a decision.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Making yourself accountable and setting stakes are two powerful ways to get external motivation to stick to your goals. Come up with a punishment for breaking your resolutions and you’ll think twice before giving up.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Small wins will encourage you to keep going during the first, usually hardest part of forming a habit or making any other change in your life. Make sure your process is small-win-friendly by setting mini goals that can be achieved with relative ease.

Studies show that people who lose the most weight in the initial weeks of their diet lose more weight in the long term – even if they follow an extreme diet. Other studies discovered that among middle-aged obese women, those who lost weight most rapidly were the most likely to keep it off after one and a half years.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

We cave to temptations because of an impulse. One second we see a chocolate bar, the next second it’s in our mouth. We see a discounted item we don’t need, and then we find ourselves paying for it at the cash register. If you’re an impulsive person, put roadblocks that will serve the role of your self-discipline.

Instead of testing your self-discipline, put roadblocks and make choices before you’re forced to react to an impulse. Think when your self-control is going to be tested and prepare for it – either by making the threat disappear altogether (avoiding a specific situation) or to make it easier to bear.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Prevention is the best medicine, and so is planning for your temptations. If you’re always hungry at three PM, pack a healthy lunch instead of grabbing your spare cash and getting a chocolate bar from a vending machine. If you want to stop arguing with other people and know a person who always drives you crazy, come up with a plan to avoid this person. When you plan for situations that can challenge your self-discipline too much, you reduce the risk of giving in to a temptation. Consequently, you prevent cravings instead of fighting against them.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Reward yourself with days of indulgence from time to time. All of us give in to temptations on occasion. Instead of making yourself feel guilty about an occasional slip-up, plan when you’re going to do it. And enjoy it.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Habits will help you automate your behaviors and introduce changes in your life without exerting huge amounts of self-control.

What I didn’t mention in the first chapter, though, is the idea that you can combine your existing habits with new good ones.

For instance, if you always brush your teeth right after you wake up, associate the act of brushing your teeth with a short meditation session afterward. Once you establish a new pattern, brushing teeth will remind you of the meditation.

When you establish the habit of meditating after brushing your teeth, you can add another good habit on top of these two habits, say writing down three things you’re grateful for.

Stacking habits on top of the existing ones is easier than coming up with completely new cues and routines and will help you form habits with more ease.

Associate new habits with the existing ones to make it easier to introduce a new routine in your life.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Bestselling author Jack Canfield once said, “You don’t have to get it perfect, you just have to get it going.” When you feel overwhelmed and ready to give up, tell yourself you’ll try something for just five minutes and then you can stop.

When you start and five minutes pass, more often than not you’ll want to keep going. What’s hard is starting – not continuing once you get it going.

For instance, if you introduced a habit to exercise for 30 minutes three times per week, tell yourself you’ll put your running shoes and go for a quick 5-minute jog around the block.

If you can’t force yourself to go to the gym, tell yourself you will only perform one exercise and then you can go home.

 If you have a hard time meditating, tell yourself you’ll only meditate for one minute.

Make the act of starting as painless as possible. Once you overcome the initial resistance, you should find it much easier to keep going.

Avoid procrastination by telling yourself you’ll only perform a certain task for five minutes. Chances are that once you start, you’ll want to keep going.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.