Muscle relaxation was originally developed by a University of Chicago researcher in 1939. It centers on relaxing your entire musculature through a simple, two-step process. Here are the two steps— ready?

Step 1: Apply tension to a muscle group (say, your feet and toes).

Step 2: Remove the tension and notice how the muscles relax. That’s it!

 When you begin a new PMR practice, plan to do it twice a day for two weeks until you get the hang of it. Then, you can practice a shortened form for just ten minutes a day that will have you feeling groovy in no time. Here are some rules:

• Wear comfortable clothing and NO SHOES
• Find a quite place where you can be alone and free from distractions.
• You can sit or lie down.
• Don’t practice close to mealtimes or after a drink or snack.
• Make sure you get up slowly. Some people find it helpful to take a few deep, abdominal breaths while counting to ten and opening their eyes. Be still for a moment, and then get up.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Your body can’t be both relaxed and stressed at the same time, and you can use this technique to trick yourself into a relaxed state when you are feeling anxious. Your brain likes the internal you and the external you to be in synch.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

The first acupuncture-based text that we know of was the Nei Ching Su Wen (Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic), and it was written between 475-221 BC. Many years of knowledge are behind this handy technique.

In case you’re not familiar with acupuncture, it involves pricking the skin with very thin, small needles along energy lines called meridians in order to alleviate pain and treat various physical and emotional maladies.

For stress-related issues, it is recommended to begin with a series of six to ten sessions for a week or two. Then the treatments can be spaced out to once a week or once every two weeks depending on your response. Eventually, you can easily drop in for a “tune-up” a few times a year or when you are hitting an especially low point and need a boost. Your acupuncturist will be able to evaluate and determine the best plan of treatment for your particular issue and your individual health status.

Finding an acupuncturist is simple.

First, know the difference between a licensed acupuncturist and a certified acupuncturist.  This is a no-brainer, folks— go for the individual with the most training!

Next, decide whether to see an acupuncturist that specializes in stress management or one who has a more general background. You can go to a website like www.AcuFinder.com or www.nccaom.org and find a professional in your area, or even ask around locally for some helpful suggestions. When you narrow your choices down, check out references from prior patients, too.

Finally, make your appointment and get started.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

If you can’t find a licensed acupuncturist near you, or you just can’t bring yourself to try it, acupressure is a great alternative to check out. Acupressure is another ancient technique commonly used in Eastern medicine that works with the same channels, or meridians, of energy accessed through acupuncture, but without the needles! Precise finger placement and pressure at exact points throughout your body will release trapped energy and allow it to circulate more freely and naturally throughout the body, resulting in increased muscular relaxation and improved mental states.

First, find a location where you will be least likely to be disturbed. A bedroom is a perfect example. Make sure it is quiet and you have a comfortable place to sit. If other people are home, let them know you need to be undisturbed for a specific amount of time. Turn off your electronic devices or, better yet, leave them in another room altogether! If you like, play some soft music, use an aromatherapy diffuser or candles to add ambiance, and change into some loose fitting, comfortable clothes. If it is easy for you, sit cross-legged on the floor. If you find that position too difficult, sit in a cozy chair or even sit on your bed with pillows propped against the headboard. Take a few deep breaths, imagining the breath coming from the area of your navel. Inhale, visualizing your breath ascending from the navel, through your body and up into your skull. Exhale, envisioning your breath leaving your body and taking with it all your stress and tension. Do this three times. Now you’re ready to begin your session. You can pick and choose which of these points appeals to you most. Concentrate on just one, or try them all!

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Breathing is an important part of the autonomic nervous system (ANS). As something we do on average twenty thousand times per day, it has the potential to affect your system in a positive or negative way. Your ANS regulates your body temperature, aids in detoxification, and supports the pumping actions throughout the body.

•  Deep Breathing

Try to maintain good posture. If you are lying down, rest your hands at your sides in a relaxed attitude or place them on your abdomen to help feel the movement of the air. Begin with a 1: 1 ratio. That is, inhale for the same number of seconds as you exhale. I like to have a clock nearby that has a second “tick” to it so that I can keep a rhythm. Try a four-second inhale followed by a four-second exhale. Start with five minutes and work your way up to ten. Once you’ve practiced for ten minutes daily for a week or so, increase your ratio to 1: 2, a four-second inhale to eight-second exhale.

• Alternate Nostril Breathing

Start with some deep breathing practice in a sitting position. You should be seated, cross-legged, and your spine should be erect but body relaxed. After a short period of deep breathing, take your right or left hand, depending on “handedness,” and close the right nostril while inhaling through the left. Then use the ring finger of that hand to close the left nostril while inhaling through the right. Start with a four-second inhale and six second exhale and try to keep breathing this way for five minutes. Eventually, work up to a 4: 8 ratio or beyond, as your skill increases.

• Cooling Breath

Sit comfortably, with spine tall and shoulders relaxed. Lower your chin slightly, stick out your tongue and roll it lengthwise into a “straw”. Inhale gently through the “straw” of your tongue as you lift your chin skyward. At the end of the inhale, withdraw your tongue, close your mouth and exhale as you lower your chin to a neutral position. Do this eight to ten times.

• Long Exhale

Lie on your back with your feet flat on the floor, about hip-width apart. Place one of your palms on your abdomen and focus on the expansion and contraction that accompanies each breath. Gradually bring your inhale to the same length as your exhale. I find a clock with a ticking sound, or a Pranayama app to be a good way to keep track of this. After you’ve equalized both parts of your breath, start increasing the exhalation by a few seconds every few breaths until it is roughly twice the length of your inhale. Do not strain to accomplish this— take your time. It may take several sessions for some beginners to build up to this point. Once you reach your goal, breathe for eight to ten breaths at the 1: 2 pattern, then finish with a few natural breaths.

• Bee Breathing

 Sit straight with your eyes closed. Make sure your position is comfortable. Gently smile. Put your index fingers on the cartilage between the cheek and ear (the piece of flesh you would press to “plug” your ears) and breathe in slowly. As you breathe out, press the cartilage in gently as you make a high-pitched humming sound like a bee. You can tap the cartilage open and shut while you hum, or just keep it closed. Do this for six to eight breaths.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

There are different styles of yoga.

Ashtanga

Bikram

Hot Yoga

Hatha

Iyengar

Vinyasa

Restorative

Yin

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

• The connoisseur

Do you thrive on performing sports and exercise with perfect form? Then get involved in a sport that links body performance and mind power. Martial arts, dancing, and cerebral sports like golf and weightlifting are some that come to mind.

• The Challenger

You love to do what no one has done before— participate in an exercise that lets you set a goal and then break through it! Your goal can be a 1K, 3K, or 5K run or even a marathon. It can be a goal to lift a certain amount of weight or enter a contest. It can even be a decision to learn a new dance style and then find a dance competition that will let you strut your stuff.

• Social Butterfly

You thrive on working out with others— working out alone only adds to your anxiety. No worries, join a jogging club, take a yoga class, go all in for some group personal training, or participate in a team sport like soccer or volleyball.

• Allergic to Activity

You think you hate to exercise. What you need is a way to combine an activity you love with some movement. Listening to audiobooks or your favorite tunes while you walk, cycle, row or do whatever moves you will help you focus on what you like while getting what you need.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

There are two basic types of sauna, steam (also called traditional) and far infrared. They both offer detoxification through sweating, a way to relax and reduce stress, and soothing of muscle and joint aches and pains though heat bathing.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Before we go deeper into the idea of putting together your personalized “stress-free” diet plan, let’s look at some foods that can trigger and exacerbate stress in some people:

Caffeinated beverages

Fast food and processed food

Sugar

Alcohol

Soft drinks

Dairy

Meat

Avoid them.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

The good news is that a whole natural pharmacopeia of stress-relieving herbs and supplements is out there. Keep in mind that just because something is natural does not mean it doesn’t have side effects, although there are little chances of developing a dependency. Also, you should pay close attention to dosages and interactions with other supplements you might be taking. Even so, these natural wonders can go a long way toward soothing the savage beast of stress and worry that might be lurking in your life!

Chamomile, green tea, Hops, Valerian, Lemon Balm, Passionflower, Lavender, Ashwagandha

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

You can find meditation retreats, classes led by experienced instructors, or check out a book at the library, a class online or an audio download or app on your electronic device.

To meditate means to focus on something — an idea, your breath — and let it take up your world.

Step One: The Time Find ten minutes. That’s all it takes — just ten. You can work up to longer sessions or even add another ten-minute session to your day once you’ve got a good habit formed, but ten is all you need to get the process started.

Step Two: The Place Pick your place. Experienced meditators can practice anywhere, regardless of surrounding noise and commotion, but as a beginner, you will have more success if you limit distractions. Choose a spot in your home that is quiet where you won’t be disturbed. If you live with other people, let them know that you’ll need some uninterrupted time, so they don’t accidentally barge into your session. Leave your phone and electronic devices in another room unless you are using an app or listening to a downloaded session.

Step Three: The Posture Be comfortable. Sit in a comfortable chair or cross-legged on the floor. Try to avoid lying down, so you aren’t tempted to fall asleep! Sit upright, but don’t strain. Wear loose, comfortable clothing.

Step Four: The Session Focus. If you have an app or program to guide you, pay attention. If you are going it alone, choose a point of focus — your breath, a candle flame, or a mantra. If your mind wanders, that’s okay! Just greet each random thought and let it go, redirecting your attention to your object of focus. Don’t get frustrated by swirling thoughts. It’s pretty typical for your mind to go almost in overdrive the first few times you try this out. If you feel anger and frustration during your practice, observe it, acknowledge it, and let it go — it’s all part of the experience!

Step Five: The Habit Keep doing it. Practice does make perfect, and the effects of meditation increase as your habit grows. Since it is sometimes difficult to begin new habits, try stacking your meditation practice onto something you already regularly do.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

 You don’t want just anyone messing with your brainwaves! Make sure you find someone who is state licensed in clinical hypnotherapy by looking up providers through the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis and the National Board for Certified Clinical Hypnotherapists.

You CAN Try This at Home!

You’ve probably already hypnotized yourself before without even realizing it! Have you ever set the alarm to wake at a specific time and found yourself waking up a minute or two before the alarm rings? That’s self-hypnosis. You may not have realized it, but you were probably concentrating on the time you needed to get up in the morning as you were going to sleep the night before. As we drift into sleep, we are in a suggestible, relaxed state — awake, but disassociated. If you’ve never had this happen to you before, try it tonight! If you need to wake up at, say, 6 a.m. tomorrow, think about it as you are drifting off to sleep. Self-hypnosis apps, downloads, programs, and CDs are abundant online, and there are even free tutorials on YouTube that you can easily access on a smartphone, computer or another electronic device.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Brainwave is the technical term for the electrical activity that is produced by the neurons in your brain as they communicate with each. It is described as a “wave” because it crests and troughs just like waves do.

Besides using brainwave apps and downloads, you can also use neurofeedback techniques to control your wave state. Neurofeedback technologies can include electroencephalographs (EEGs), galvanic skin response and heart, pulse and breath rate monitors.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

There are ten basic types of ANTs that you may be using in your life. Let’s go over them.

• Should Statement

These statements occur when you use definitive, inflexible language regarding expectations you have for yourself or others. Besides “should,” these statements can also include “must” and “ought to.”

• Mind Reading

When you make an inference about someone’s behavior or thinking without having hard evidence to back it up, you are mind reading. You are convinced you know the reason behind their behavior.

• Catastrophic Thinking

Catastrophic thinking happens when we think everything is, well, a disaster. It can also apply when we are anticipating a catastrophe to occur.

• Overgeneralization

Also known as “always/ never” thinking, overgeneralization is when we take one (or a few) instances of an adverse event and use it as evidence that the event is bound to happen again and again.

Personalizing When we personalize something, we assume that people’s behavior is a reaction to something we, ourselves, have said or done.

• Filtering

When we ignore positive information about a situation and instead concentrate on the negative, we can be said to be “filtering” out the good in order to focus on the unpleasant.

• All or Nothing

Many people tend to be extreme in their thinking, refusing to give themselves a middle ground. Something is either right or wrong— black or white.

• Fortune Telling

Sometimes when we assume we know how something will turn out, we inadvertently help our supposition to manifest.

• Big/ Small Thinking

Sometimes we tend to overstate the importance of adverse events while minimizing the benefits of positive ones.

• Emotional Thinking

We often mistake what we feel for concrete facts because of the intensity of the feeling.

Recognize: You’ve done this! You’ve learned to “see” your thoughts and know when you have negative ones or ones that are worrisome. Good job! Realize: Now, learn to change the direction of your thoughts as they “appear” in your mind. Notice the negative thought. Recognize that it’s okay to have this thought, but realize that you’d rather have a positive one instead!

Re-Route: When you recognize the negative thought, re-route it through visualization. Replace the original negative thought or image with a positive one.

Then, take all those negative thoughts, write them down and release them by tearing, crumpling, throwing away or burning the paper they’re written on. This may seem simple and even silly, but studies show that it works. Physically removing these thoughts from your environment has a definite impact on your happiness levels!

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Biofeedback Tools

1. Electromyography  (detects muscle action)
2. Feedback  thermometers (detects skin temperatures)
3. Electrodermograph  (measures skin electrical activity)
4. Electroencephalograph  (measures brain activity)
5. Photoplethysmography (measures blood flow through a finger)
6. Electrocardiograph  (measures heart rate)
7. Pneumograph  (detects respiration rate)
8. Capnometer  (detects quality of breathing— shallow, deep or rapid)
9. Rheoencephalography  (measures brain blood flow)
10. Hemoencephalography  (uses infrared images to show the difference between oxygenated and unoxygenated blood in the brain)

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Certainly, stress is a normal part of everyday life, but when you are unable to manage it in a healthy way, you may need assistance in getting to the root of your feelings. There are five types of clinical anxiety disorders:

Panic Doosorders

Obssessive-Compulsive Disorder

Ceneralized Anxiety Dosorder

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Phobias

Whether you have one of these disorders or you just have a problem you can’t seem to solve on your own, reaching out to a licensed counselor may be the way to get to the root of your stress and anxiety and start untangling the knots that are keeping you from living a fulfilling life. A good counselor will work to understand how your life is impacted by past (or current) events and will help you to make life changes to reduce your stress level.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Telling yourself to quit worrying just doesn’t work. In fact, it draws even more attention to the worry. It’s like telling someone NOT to think about a purple anteater— all they will be able to focus on is, you guessed it, purple anteaters! So don’t judge or berate yourself for worrying. Just schedule some time to fit it in your day.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Your home can be your castle, but it can also be your retreat, your spa, your haven, your escape — and it doesn’t take a complete remodel to make it happen, either.

In case of city homes, try adding fabric or tapestries to your walls for a sound barrier and using carpeting rather than hardwood. Try to soundproof your city home with high-quality insulation and windows. Add blackout shades to your windows so that the “all night lights” don’t keep you from getting your ZZZs. Add plants to your indoor environment, and if you’re lucky enough to score a balcony or courtyard, add some growing things there, too. Decorate minimally, in soothing colors.

There are ways to minimize the impact of your daily commute on your level of anxiety, however.

1. Work from Home
2. Find a Friend
3. Take Public Transportation
4. Destress with Less Mess
5. Curb your Enthusiasm - there is a one-in, one-out rule — if something comes in, something must go out. It keeps the balance of clutter in check.

• Destress Your Home Using Feng Shui. Feng shui (fung shway) is an ancient Chinese system of harmonizing your environment and improving its flow of energy or qi.
• Clean House! Your house is a reflection of your life, so keep it clean. Deeply clean.
• Get Rid of Broken, Unused or Unwanted Items. You don’t need these peripherals crowding out the good things! Make room for things you love by getting rid of those you don’t.
• Clean Closets. Closing the closet door only hides the problem — the clutter is still there, nagging at you. Set a rule for your closet — one in, one out, or only keep a certain number of hangers on hand — to keep you from overcrowding. Add Nature We are most comfortable in an environment that contains some natural elements. Use living green plants for decorations, add flowers when you can, buy real wood tables or scatter some pebbles in a wooden bowl for decoration. Consider adding a water element
• Add Scents. Add the scent of lavender, rose or sandalwood to your home through an aromatic diffuser, potpourri, or candles. These scents are grounding and relaxing, but if they don’t appeal to you — no worries — use what makes you feel good!
• Special Note: Your Bedroom This is the one spot in your home that you should do everything in your power to make into a sanctuary. Whether you have a partner or sleep alone, your bedroom is the ultimate intimate space and should be a retreat from the rest of the world.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

You know at least one. The “friend” who just has to criticize everything you do. The one who is constantly stressed and needs your reinforcement. Or the one who calls you whenever they “need a friend” and then forgets about you the other 90% of the time.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

First determine what it is you hate about your job. Is it the profession you’ve chosen? Your particular company? Your workmates? Take action. If you need to change your profession, look into online or evening classes. If you need to switch companies, get your resume out there and start making some contacts. Whatever you do, doing SOMETHING is moving in the right direction.

Spend less than you make.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

For those of you who spend hours at work on the computer and sometimes work late into the night, the “blue light” that emanates from your screen can be increasing your stress. Blue light can inhibit your melatonin production and interfere with a good night’s sleep. You can minimize this process with a great new (and free!) program called f.lux for Windows and IOS that determines your location and automatically adjusts the color of your screen to tone down those blue light waves in the evening, allowing you to sleep more peacefully after a hard day’s (or night’s!) work.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

• Start with a Schedule
• Try and get to bed (and wake up) at the same time every night. If you work, figure out when you must get up in order to make it to work on time and then count back eight hours to find your bedtime.
• If it is far away from the time you’ve currently been turning in (say, 9 p.m. when you usually crawl in bed at 11), start backing it up slowly. Start with fifteen-minute increments so your body adjusts to the earlier bedtime.
• Although it may be tempting to sleep in on the weekend, stick to the schedule so you don’t throw your body’s rhythms off.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Everyone needs a strong group of friends, family members and peers that they can rely on when the going gets rough. Remember that the better friend you are to others, the more likely they will return the favor! Make sure to stay in touch— don’t just wait for dark times to reach out to your friends. Be a good listener to others. Find out what makes them happy and what needs they have and fill them if you can!

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.