1. Wherever you are–standing, sitting, leaning, driving, crushed between passengers on a commuter train–wiggle your fingers and toes. Bring your attention to the very tips of your fingers and toes until you can feel them.

2. Next, consciously stop swallowing for a moment, and let your tongue float down to the bottom of your mouth. Keep it there–you’ll experience some extra saliva gathering.

3. Now go back to wiggling your fingers and toes.

 4. Finally, breathe. Breathe as deeply as you can until your whole belly fills like a balloon, and then slowly let the breath go, making a sound as you do (if possible)–as if you are blowing out a candle. Repeat this ten times: fill the low belly with air, as deeply as possible, like a balloon, and slowly exhale. Notice the shift in your stress level.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Just take a moment to notice everything around you with all five of your senses: touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight.

Action Steps: Begin to notice what’s around you. Answer the following questions:

1. What am I tasting right now? Is it bitter, sweet, salty? (Bitter and salty usually indicate we are under some kind of stress; sweet is a sign that we are relaxed and calm.)

2. What am I smelling right now? Is it clean, crisp, perfume or pine, several scents and odors at once?

3. What am I seeing right now? Notice the four walls around you, their color, any images or artwork on the walls; notice the windows, the people, your own clothes, how and where you are sitting.

4. What am I feeling right now? What is literally beneath my fingers? Maybe I am touching the slightly rough texture of denim or running my hands through my hair, which feels soft. Notice.

5. What am I hearing right now? Children playing outside, music on the stereo, voices down the hall, my own breathing, or my cat purring.

When you can take a moment, using all five of your senses, to really be present, you drop out of stress mode, and right into this very moment.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Resisting, fighting, or arguing with any reality can keep us from living well, can create tension and stress in the body, and can keep us from what we truly want.

Just remember, you’re not in charge of everything going the way you want it to all the time. Sometimes all you can do is be you, allow, and breathe!

Action Steps: 1. Whenever you are feeling discomfort, ask yourself, “What is happening now?” The answer may be “I’m mad that I can’t go to the party tonight” or “David never called me back.”

2. Simply sit still for a moment and see if you can be with what is by breathing deeply into your belly, feeling your fingers and toes, (grounding and getting present) and noticing–the moment, your surroundings, your senses. Ground yourself into this moment by observing that this is where you are now. Likely safe, likely fed. Probably warm. Alive. And that you have the power in you to find peace in any situation. You’ll learn more about this in the section called “Find Peace.”

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Action Steps:

1. Once you have practiced the step of allowing in your life, and you know how it feels in your body and have seen how much freedom it provides you, then you can acknowledge the impact this circumstance has had on your life and acknowledge your own feelings Then it’s time to do something that will help you release your feeling of disappointment or grief–rest, talk to a friend, or go for a run.

2. Decide what outcome you would like. Be clear about this.

3. Practice acceptance by finding actions with which you can move ahead.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

1. Begin to notice your thoughts. You can do this by first grounding yourself using the breath work you’ve learned here. You can also stop and notice. And as you notice your senses, notice your mind–what is it sharing with you? What is it judging? What is it fired up about? Tuning into your thoughts takes some practice and is a little like finding a clear channel on a staticky radio. Slow down and really listen, then get to know the voice of your inner self. What’s it telling you about what’s happening?
2.  Another way to notice your thoughts is by going in the “back door” and figuring out what you’re feeling. From there, you can do some detective work and see what thought may be creating the emotion. For example, I’m feeling panicky. Once you can identify the emotion, see if you can look to the area of your life that you think the panic may be related to.
3. Once you can begin to do these steps with more regularity, you will begin to notice your own thoughts more clearly and easily. And, from here, a world of possibilities opens to you. You can let go of your thoughts and “lose” the story, or change the story, or even just simply notice it, which gives you infinitely more power than you had when it was beyond your awareness and you were living, instead, in unconscious reaction to it.
4. Put your thoughts through the Self Coaching 101 model created by Life Coach Brooke Castillo, to see how your stories create the life you are living.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Action Steps:

1. For five minutes a day, bring your awareness to whatever it is that you are feeling in that given moment. This alone is a step that takes some practice. We are not used to asking ourselves “What am I feeling now?” and then noticing. Sometimes words will come up; often, you will notice sensations in your body, like tension across your shoulder blades or throbbing at the back of your head.

2. Next, simply “be with” the emotion or feeling of discomfort in your body by allowing (see Allow above) the emotion to be present, and breathing into it. You become a clear channel for the emotion to pass through.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.

Action Steps:

1. To bring yourself back to the moment, practice the step of noticing. Settle down, feeling your fingers and toes, letting your tongue float in your mouth, and breathing deeply. Begin noticing your surroundings and allowing your feelings to be present and also to pass.

2. With your eyes closed, look down into the inside of your cheeks, and let your vision continue to travel down to your jaw, down your throat, and into your chest.

3. Breathe into the energy of your heart. Notice the space around your heart. Continue breathing into and out of your heart, with your vision turned inward. Rest there for a moment.

Please refer to the book for more details on this activity.